How to keep house while drowning: a gentle approach to cleaning and organizing by KC Davis

As someone who always have felt behind on house chores, who doesn’t enjoy cleaning, and typically has to let it get so messy that I get furious in order to find the energy to clean – this title caught my attention on Bookstagram.

Synopsis

After KC Davis gave birth to her second child, she didn’t fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. Between postpartum depression and ADHD, she felt numb and overwhelmed. She regained her sanity—and the functionality of her home—after one life-changing realization:
You don’t work for your home; your home works for you.
In other words, messiness is not a moral failing. A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as “I can never keep up” and a chaotic kitchen as “I’m a bad mother.” Instead, she looked at unwashed clothes and thought, “I am alive,” and at stacks of dishes and thought, “I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row.”
Building on this foundation of self-compassion, KC devised the powerful practical approach that has exploded in popularity. The secret is to stop following perfectionist rules that don’t make sense for you—like folding clothes that don’t wrinkle anyway, or thinking that every room has to be clean at the same time—and to find creative solutions that accommodate your needs, pet peeves, daily rhythms, and attention span.

Read this book to make home feel like a sanctuary again: where you can move with ease, where guilt, self-criticism, and endless checklists have no place, and where you always have permission to rest, even when things aren’t finished.

Thoughts

What this book has given me is a reframing of chores and the belief that my ability to keep up with them says something about my value as a person and parent. Starting to more and more see it as care tasks has also helped me understand why I struggle with it, as showing care and kindness to myself is something that doesn’t come easy for me. So the angry cleaning is gone which is a kindness to myself and to my family who doesn’t have to be around that energy anymore.

The thought process that this book initiated has also led me to investing in things that make our life a little easier. Making our home work for us, as the book says.

I bought a fairly cheap solution which allows me to clean and refill water and dry food for the cats once a week instead of something that I have to screen for and perform on a daily basis, while I’m late for work and trying to convince my kid to get out the door.

We have also finally decided to try out a cleaning service. It is a privilege to be able to consider that within our budget, for which I’m grateful. I’m already feeling a huge mental load lifting, because the mandatory things like work, childcare, and taking care of basic needs is already taking up most of the energy I currently have available on a weekly basis. I need more time for rest and fun things if I’m going to start feeling better, it has been a tough couple of years.

For some reason I thought that the only way to clean our cars was the way my dad used to – by hand at a manual cleaning station. It is something we used to enjoy together whenever I came over with my car, a little adventure away from everyone else where we worked as a team – him cleaning and me turning the wheel for the different steps, or running away from the water he would “accidentally” shoot my way. But I can’t and it is probably tied to feeling the loss of him in my world, so I’ve just started using automated cleaning stations and it feels good to see the cars, somewhat, clean. I also got a memory when taking my kid into the automated cleaner, when I was younger, that is how I used to clean the car with dad and it was so much fun to see my kid scream and laugh at the machine.

After reading this book I have become kinder to myself when it comes to our house. I clean in a new way, I feel more relaxed about the mess, and I question the way we organise things which means slowly things become easier. I appreciate that for me this book was a reframing more than hard mental work, like in therapy. It might not be that easy for everyone but I hope you give this book a try for even a little bit of relief.

Payback’s a witch by Lana Harper

Synopsis

Emmy Harlow is a witch but not a very powerful one—in part because she hasn’t been home to the magical town of Thistle Grove in years. Her self-imposed exile has a lot to do with a complicated family history and a desire to forge her own way in the world, and only the very tiniest bit to do with Gareth Blackmoore, heir to the most powerful magical family in town and casual breaker of hearts and destroyer of dreams.
But when a spellcasting tournament that her family serves as arbiters for approaches, it turns out the pull of tradition (or the truly impressive parental guilt trip that comes with it) is strong enough to bring Emmy back. She’s determined to do her familial duty; spend some quality time with her best friend, Linden Thorn; and get back to her real life in Chicago.
On her first night home, Emmy runs into Talia Avramov—an all-around badass adept in the darker magical arts—who is fresh off a bad breakup . . . with Gareth Blackmoore. Talia had let herself be charmed, only to discover that Gareth was also seeing Linden—unbeknownst to either of them. And now she and Linden want revenge. Only one question stands: Is Emmy in?
But most concerning of all: Why can’t she stop thinking about the terrifyingly competent, devastatingly gorgeous, wickedly charming Talia Avramov?

Thoughts

Following a recent excursion into cozy fantasy I was pulled in by this title and cover. What followed was a pretty classic world with witches, competition, and focus on relationships and finding your place in life. There is some delicious romance and bisexual characters.

I do have things that I personally would have wanted handled differently, but this was genuinely a fun & nice world to be in and I recommend it for anyone that wants some romance with their cozy fantasy.

Your wish is my command by Deena Mohamed

Translated from Arabic by the author

🏆Literary Fifteen 2023 – winner of Warwick Women in translation prize

Synopsis

This translated graphic novel follows three people who live in a world where wishes are for sale. Wishes are of course heavily regulated and the more expensive ones are more powerful and accurate.

As it happens, there are three first class wishes being sold at a kiosk in Cairo. When Aziza loses her husband and buys herself a wish the full force of bureaucracy comes after her. Nour is a student from a wealthy background who secretly struggles with depression and contemplates how and if a wish could be the solution. For Shokry it is a question of religious convictions when he tries to figure out how to help a friend who doesn’t want to use their wish.

Thoughts

This was such a treat! As a non-Arabic reader it was a gift to experience reading the book in a different order than I’m used to. It really shows that whatever way you are used to reading, there are other ways. A beautiful connection between graphic novel, translation and formatting.

All characters had something important to say and show the reader. The story itself made me reflect on privilege, capitalism, international politics, and colonialism. 

If you are looking for a graphic novel that tackles difficult topics this one comes highly recommended.

I’m a fan by Sheena Patel 🎧

I picked up this book because it sounded like it would criticise a certain type of influencers (yep, it did) as well as do a deep-dive on toxic relationships (absolutely) and it was nominated for Jhalak Prize which is included in my reading challenge Literary Fifteen for 2023.

Synopsis

In I’m A Fan, a single speaker uses the story of their experience in a seemingly unequal, unfaithful relationship as a prism through which to examine the complicated hold we each have on one another. With a clear and unforgiving eye, the narrator unpicks the behaviour of all involved, herself included, and makes startling connections between the power struggles at the heart of human relationships and those of the wider world, in turn offering a devastating critique of access, social media, patriarchal hetero-normative relationships, and our cultural obsession with status and how that status is conveyed.

Thoughts

Reading this was like being captured inside the head of someone in a destructive point in life, while trying in different ways to break out. It is painful and heart-breaking. Untangling yourself from a harmful situation takes a lot of time and realisation.

I typically cannot read stories about cheating. I think the tone is always off, revelling in the pain inflicted on someone else, making it a spice in the relationship, but this story nailed it for me. There is a dynamic to cheating that I enjoyed seeing explored in this story.

If you are in spaces that address sexism, racism and capitalism while discussing mental health and the harmful mechanisms of relationships and influencers you are not going to find the connections “startling”. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t satisfying when the unnamed mc expanded their view and shared their thoughts. I definitely had a few realisations, particularly around toxic relationships, while reading this. One of the most memorable is that some people will “warn you” of them and then use that as an excuse (I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship, I’m a bad boyfriend, etc.), the warning is a red flag but it is overpowered by counter messages (still engaging with the other person, doing sweet things) and powered by society’s gender roles (I will be the one to change him). If you actually cared about others, the warning would also be supported by aligning behaviour that didn’t engage with them. A “disclaimer” does not take away responsibility for crap behaviour.

I also thought about the concept of “unhinged women” and how we talk about these type of stories. For many someone’s “unhinged” is an accurate portrayal of what they are experiencing or have experienced. On one hand – it is positive that these stories get more space, few things are as soothing as realising you are not alone. At the same time I feel some of the discourse around “unhinged women” stories is harmful, when there is judgment around the issue or the severity of it. I’m both liking the term (a rebellion against the narrow confines of how you are allowed to be) and disliking the term (the judgment).

This was an audiobook for me and it is another one I can highly recommend the experience and narration of.

Mister magic by Kiersten White

The cover of Mister Magic caught my eye when I went on my “build a massive horror TBR just because it is fun” spree. Kiersten White is an author I have read before, I still have to read the last book in the Camelot Rising trilogy. It felt like a safe spot to start my horror exploration (for however long it lasts) and the synopsis screams fun to me.

Synopsis

Thirty years after a tragic accident shut down production of the classic children’s program Mister Magic, the five surviving cast members have done their best to move on. But just as generations of cultishly devoted fans still cling to the lessons they learned from the show, the cast, known as the Circle of Friends, have spent their lives searching for the happiness they felt while they were on it. The friendship. The feeling of belonging. And the protection of Mister Magic. 

But with no surviving video of the show, no evidence of who directed or produced it, and no records of who—or what—the beloved host actually was, memories are all the former Circle of Friends has.

Then a twist of fate brings the castmates back together at the remote desert filming compound that feels like it’s been waiting for them all this time. Even though they haven’t seen each other for years, they understand one another better than anyone has since.

After all, they’re the only ones who hold the secret of that circle, the mystery of the magic man in his infinitely black cape, and, maybe, the answers to what really happened on that deadly last day. But as the Circle of Friends reclaim parts of their past, they begin to wonder: Are they here by choice, or have they been lured into a trap?

Because magic never forgets the taste of your friendship. . .

Thoughts

The nostalgic vibes of an old series surrounded by mystery sounded like a fun ride to me and it really was. I was kept guessing and the more I learned the more I could see myself reading up on the fan theories on the show. I really enjoyed the premise of the plot and the reflection of memory after 30 years have passed. Some things remain and other things are just whispers or completely gone while your friend remembers it vividly.

The cast of characters are interesting, some getting more play time than others, the group of childhood friends making me think of Stephen King, but the difference is it is without doubt a story centered on women. There are gay side characters and brief commentary on racism, sexism and homophobia. Overall a story that calls out the nonsense of our society which made me feel safe in White’s hands, just like with the fantasy trilogy. For me the story was ultimately positive as it is a reminder to reflect on what you still carry with you from childhood.

I recommend that you read the afterword by the author because it provides the real life inspiration for the story.

#BodiesInBooks Quotes

This is to me an example of how to include diet culture without praising it, if it is not a major theme of your book. Dieting is briefly mentioned and there is no assumption that dieting is a good thing that people should do.

“She’s short, with a body that hints it would like to be much rounder and softer were it not wrestled into brutal submission.”

“Six kids, and I diet and work out all the time so my husband can brag to people that you’d never guess by looking at her.”

The toll house by Carly Reagon

My first book in 2023 book advent calendar also ended up being my only read from the calendar that was completed in December. Not a surprise at all but I hope to get to one more before the snow leaves us.

Synopsis

“The past isn’t always dead and buried . . .

A house with history. That’s how the estate agent described the old toll house on the edge of the town. For Kelda it’s the perfect rural home for her young son Dylan after a difficult few years.

But when Kelda finds a death mask concealed behind one of the walls, everything changes. Inexplicable things happen in the house, Kelda cannot shake the feeling of being watched and Dylan is plagued by nightmares, convinced he can see figures in his room. As Dylan’s behaviour becomes increasingly challenging, Kelda seeks answers in the house’s mysterious past. But she’s running out of time.

And now it won’t rest . . .

Because something has awoken.“

Thoughts

The toll house was tense from the first chapter and amazingly kept me worried throughout. I wished for Kelda and Dylan to find a happy home in the old toll house with the garden. Making a home your own should never include finding death masks behind the wall. The haunted house seeps through so many aspects of Kelda’s life that the book offers a bit of everything in terms of horror. I especially found the parts where Kelda’s son Dylan was impacted difficult. I just know I will be tested to my limits as my kid points out monsters left and right.

For fans of historical fiction there is a separate timeline set in late 1800s and I appreciated that I got to learn about the toll house’s past through an additional timeline. Learning the history could have been a book in itself and I liked stepping into a world different yet similar to our own.

While reading I kept on guessing what would come next and what things meant. I spent time thinking about what it means to know oneself and own who you are, to truly see yourself. It was easy to imagine the surroundings of the toll house and I found it very atmospheric, as a reader I felt I was right next to the characters. I too want an old remote house with an unkempt garden, minus the hauntings please.

I have some questions for you by Rebecca Makkai

This book follows Bodie Kane, a professor and podcaster, as she returns as a teacher to the New Hampshire boarding school where her roommate Thalia Keith was murdered. The school’s athletics trainer Omar Evans was convicted of the murder, but it remains subject to theories online. As Bodie returns so does her memories and Bodie starts to wonder about her own impact on the murder investigation.

I have some questions for you is my second read from the Aspen Words longlist and part of my Literary Fifteen reading challenge.

I started this one as a book but the way it was written and its reference to true crime podcasts made me want to try the audiobook and that was absolutely the right choice for me. It definitely felt like I was listening to a true crime podcast. With its school setting and a possibly innocent man in jail the connection to season 1 of the podcast Serial wasn’t hard to make.

The book picks up themes such as men’s violence against women, the ethics of the true crime genre, and metoo. However, I felt that these themes weren’t explored enough, it stopped at the first level of reflection and didn’t dig deeper. I want the books on Aspen Words to push me further in my thinking and because of that this is not a shortlister for me.

That said, anyone wanting a book with a true crime podcast vibe should check this one out. I found the plot around murder mostly well done. There is one instance where Bodie has the key to solve a question haunting the online detectives because she taught Thalia to do this that requires suspense of your belief (it still annoys me).

The Court of Miracles by Kester Grant

This book gave me all the reading joy of a good fantasy! There were twist and turns I didn’t see coming and peculiar yet lovable characters.

When Eponine’s sister is sold into The Guild Of Flesh by her father, Eponine decides to join the same guild as her father and become a thief to get back her sister.

I didn’t feel drawn to the book but I’m glad I picked it up. There are plenty of scenes that would give a book club lots to discuss – good and bad. It definitely does not shy away from topics and story lines that are political, without lecturing and giving space for reflection. This is all delivered through fantasy at its best. A dark and ominous criminal world, filled with people with so much heart and care for each other. I have a soft spot for dangerous characters that are excellently themselves.

Chain-gang all-stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah 🎧

Brilliantly narrated by Shayna Small, Aaron Goodson, Michael Crouch, and Lee Osorio

🏆 LiteraryFifteen 2024 – Aspen Words 🏆

Did I get carried away and start reading for my reading challenge 2024 Literary Fifteen? Absolutely!

Aspen Words typically have those thought provoking opinionated reads that push your understanding, which is why I enjoy its longlist so much.

Chain-gang All-stars is set within the US privatised prison system and follows prisoners who fight in televised matches to the death in the hopes to gain freedom. I have been interested in Chain-gang All-stars for some time but admit that recent reviews discouraged me. I’m glad that Aspen Words brought me back to the book because my brain was bouncing back and forth while reading this. The book is definitely dark, it hurt reading this book – it is blatantly clear that this could happen, will happen, if we allow dehumanisation of each other. As such it is likely to be one of the most important books on 2024 Aspen Words and I expect it to make it to the shortlist and see it as a strong contender to win.

I read it as an audiobook which made the story and the characters come brilliantly alive. The voices in the audiobook are exquisite. The story was so vivid, infuriating and heart-breaking.

I was thinking about the different contexts that exist and who sets the rules. Who is excluded, included, allowed to be human? The connections between school, prison, work, criminal law, entertainment and sports, societal safety nets or lack thereof, racism, colonialism, slavery, health care, bias, sexism, bigotry and bright brilliant love that exists in spite of everything.

Through the book’s pain and darkness I’m strengthened in my belief that we must fight harder to stand up for each other and show more compassion, have hope and faith in each other.

Her own happiness by Eden Appiah-Kubi

I’m not reading as much as I used to. I struggle with texts that I normally fly through. It has taken me many months to figure this out. Sometimes it isn’t a reading slump. Sometimes life changes and the focus shifts. The idea that reading is consistent or always “improving” is not true.

This is not my nature, but I’m trying to let things just be. I don’t have to understand or assess or figure out, things can just be.

I found this beautiful cover on NetGalley and was immediately pulled in by the story.
Maya and Ant are leaving Hawaii for Washington DC. Ant is starting a prestigious internship and Maya is going back to live with her parents after her job and home was lost.
As I have struggled with romance in the past and slowly making good choices thanks to all of you, I’m pleased to say I made my first pick and I loved it. This might be my favourite book in the genre. It has fat, Black, queer, ace and lesbian characters. The vibe in the book is so comforting. Yes, there is tension and complicated feelings and relationships of various kinds, but there is a genuine warmth to these characters. If people were like this, not without flaws, but with a care for each other our world would be so much better.

That said, the book doesn’t shy away from tougher topics and it is set in 2021 with the reality of the pandemic. For some it might be too much but I found it well balanced. We all went through it, we are all still going through it.

In conclusion, I found this a lovely book and I look forward to reading more romance books from this author.